http://stanleysessions.com/work daily 1.0 2021-08-03 https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5828a88fb8a79bc71b2c9163/1479059613368/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/55b7cc3ee4b0f6d5c52c633d/1438108743604/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/559ad35ee4b0a859fd40043f/1436210021990/ The Portraits   "The first time my four stepchildren laid eyes on my son, Brian Keith Haffner, was Easter Sunday of 1969 when we picked the children up from my husband’s parents’ house in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. I had just gotten out of the hospital a few days before. From Ft. Wayne, we drove home to our house in Coldwater, Michigan. Each one of the kids held Brian for 15 minutes during the hour ride. In anticipation, they'd keep asking: 'How much longer until my turn?' It was dear. They just couldn't have been more help to me. They loved feeding him, bathing him, strolling him, dressing him...everything about his care they were eager to be a part of and I was very grateful—especially since their dad was working in Illinois and only home weekends and we had one car that was with him. Brian was my pride and joy! We could tell that, at an early age, Brian was very bright. He walked at 9 months, spoke in full sentences by 18 months, and at 3.5 years, he was reading anything you put before him. By then, we had moved to Vandalia, Ohio. He became a celebrity in our neighborhood because the neighbors would invite him over to read the Dayton Daily News to friends who visited them. It was so cute to see this little boy read with such enthusiasm and understand each word he was reading as well as what it meant! When my stepson, Steven, died by suicide due to his schizophrenia, I had to break the news to a then ten-year-old Brian, who absolutely worshiped Steve and vice versa. When I told Brian, he looked into my eyes, and with huge tears, asked: 'Didn't he know how much we all loved him?' As well as Brian did in K-12, he did miserably in college. When the party was over after two years at Ohio State University—where he received poor grades—my husband, Tom, told him he had some choices to make. Tom insisted that Brian join the military. Even though Brian was legally an adult, he did as his father suggested and joined the Navy. After he completed basic training at Great Lakes, Illinois (then A School in Meridian, Mississippi), he was assigned to the USS Spruance, a destroyer whose home port was Mayport, Florida. His ship, a destroyer attached to the USS Saratoga battle group, was leaving on August 7th for a "routine" deployment to the Mediterranean. This deployment became Desert Shield and then turned into Desert Storm once the Persian Gulf War engaged. We had limited communication with Brian during the war. Of course, internet was not available back then and although he wrote frequently, we could go weeks without any mail from him…and then get four to six letters all at once. The letters and calls we did get were upbeat and Brian displayed no complaints—he was just doing his duty which he pledged to do in July of 1989. Every letter we got from Brian during Desert Shield and Desert Storm showed absolutely no indicators that he was unable to cope with his surroundings or situation. And then, when Brian got out of the Navy, he came back to Ohio and lived with us briefly until he got a job. He had a hard time finding work, and although he supported us in our family business from the time he was young, Tom refused to simply “hand” Brian a job. Tom wanted him to find one on his own. Even with a good job, the prospect of building a house, and keeping close friends, Brian struggled. He joined us for dinner one evening, and while walking him to his van, he told me he was experiencing mood swings and asked me to find someone to help him. The next day, he had an appointment. He continued on his prescribed medication and started gaining weight, which isn’t unusual, especially with a drug like Depakote. Additionally, Brian was diagnosed with bipolar disorder—making him the seventh Haffner family member at that time to be diagnosed with a brain disorder. Tom, too, was glaringly diagnosable but never received a diagnosis nor did he ever reach out for help. By now, Brian had 'worked his way up' to sales from sweeping the warehouse to loading and unloading trucks and learning to make counter tops. He was doing tremendously in sales! His outgoing personality and belief in our product was apparent. The night Brian died by suicide because of bipolar disorder, I was in Charlotte, Michigan with my mother, stepfather, and many others at a church fundraiser. It was raining hard. He died around 9:00pm and I didn't learn about it until 7:00am the next morning when an employee of ours drove Tom five hours to Michigan to tell me. He was going to tell me by phone, but a friend encouraged him to tell me in person. Maybe Marilyn, my close friend, can tell me, but at this moment, I cannot accurately describe the exact words Tom used to tell me that Brian had died. But I do recall that he was vague in his conveyance. When I questioned him about what he meant, he became more explicit in his description and I remember telling him that I was simply having a bad dream. When he insisted it wasn't a nightmare, I responded that it was. Then, my mother stood in the doorway and confirmed the worst…that it was true. When my stepson, Steve, died, Tom never allowed Steve’s name to be mentioned in our household again. On the way back to Ohio that day, I told Tom that I didn't want Brian’s memory to be treated in the same manner as Steve’s was by forbidding the family to enjoy the very mention of him. Little did I know that when I made that request, the same situation would unfold. We got back to our house in Lebanon and realized I would have to be the one to tell our family and friends. In a room—by myself—I began making those dreaded calls. Tom was never in the room with the people who came to the funeral visitation. To this day, I do not know where he was. At one point, I stood over Brian’s coffin and I recited what I'd say to my son and stepchildren after their prayers when I'd tuck them in: 'Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite. Don't get up, don't get down…just sleep peacefully. I love you.' The day of the funeral, I was made aware of an article in the Middletown Journal about his death with bold headlines that read: 'Police Watch While Man Kills Himself.' Another major upset to add to the painful events. I had made up my mind that I wasn't ready to know what method Brian used to take his life...but the paper revealed it. The day after I read those awful headlines, I went to the police station. In no way did I want those two police officers to have to wake up each morning thinking they had any responsibility for my son's death. Upon seeing them, I gave them both a hug and assured them that we did not blame them. Whenever the older of the two officers would see me driving in town after that, he'd always motion for me to pull into the nearest parking lot and would have very kind words and a hug for me. He is the one Brian shoved. A show of respect from the police, indeed: even though Brian pushed one of their own—from the funeral home to the cemetery, police officers were stationed on each corner with their hats over their hearts. When my prayers for their minds to be healed were not answered, it was never: 'Why, God?' My prayers asked Him for guidance and direction in how I could help others because they lived, and He eventually lead me to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). I have been actively involved with the organization since 1996. I have learned so much since, and because Steve and Brian lived, they have helped countless people. I also know that because my sons existed, they peaked my interest in learning about mental health and how to help save lives. For instance, in the NAMI Family-to-Family Education Program, we have an entire class dedicated to communication skills and how to support your loved ones. I heard firsthand from a participant that the course saved her son's life based on what she learned. One thing I have come to realize and sincerely appreciate: for someone suffering with mental illness, suicidal death is not much different than a body ravaged by cancer…indeed, it is the illness that kills them." https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57b9ce08893fc01e0715c724/1471794714781/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5741efc740261db902b69a7b/1463939028792/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5620250ce4b0c05fdc35c76a/1444947229961/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/560d57ade4b0cc59c7b675db/1443714996388/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/560e995ce4b099a661a56f7e/1443797378667/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5659029ae4b0f0c1a01baf43/1448673959925/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57696a0b15d5db4f5e1e00e0/1466526235046/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/559acfc1e4b040c14b18cd3b/1436209100729/ The Portraits   "More than five years ago, the weekend after Thanksgiving, my husband and the father of our two children took his life. He was 38. Two weeks to the day before it happened, he was making threats on the phone while I was on my way to pick our children up. Unfortunately, at that time, we could not convince him to get the help he needed; however, I still didn’t believe he would actually end his life. I felt it was a cry for help, but he was reluctant to get that help. Two weeks later, I made several unanswered phone calls. His place of employment began calling me. I picked the kids up from daycare that Monday afternoon, and went to the house. The locks were changed and the garage door opener was unplugged so I could not get in the house. I left with my kids and was contacted later that evening by the police and informed of what had happened. I was in complete shock. I was 31 with a two-year-old and four-year-old who would now grow up without a father. The devastation surfaces often, even five years later. I am very concerned for my children for so many reasons: they will one day be old enough to understand what happened, they are possibly at risk for mental illness themselves, and they constantly have to tell friends and people they meet that their father is dead. Every school year, when I meet their new teachers, I tell my story so they know what my children are up against. And for me, the battle will be lifelong, too. When I meet people for work or at social gatherings, it always seems to come up. I look younger than I am (or so I’ve been told), and people cannot believe I’m a widow. They think that maybe he was in the military, or perhaps he got cancer. The truth is, he was sick…but not the kind of “sick” they’re thinking. People become speechless and immediately start to fumble when I tell them it was suicide. Early on, I really struggled to understand. I felt like a freak. I felt I knew no one who had been through what I had been through. And I also felt like people blamed me. I was trying to leave him at the time. I’ve been so angry at times—angry at him for leaving that way and angry for my children who have to cope all of their lives with it. But recently, I reflected on what was going on leading up to this. Shortly before we got pregnant with our first child, one of his childhood best friends was murdered. Shortly after we had our first child, his grandfather—who he looked to as a father figure and was very close with—died of cancer. Having gone through the hospice experience with my mom right before Christmas, I now know how devastated he must have been. And there were other things. All told, he was ill and unable to overcome life’s blows. And my heart breaks for him. I wish I could have done more. The “doing more” part is what I’m doing now. I may not have been able to help him overcome his illness, but I can certainly help others. This experience, and telling my story and hearing others’ stories, is a big step in the healing process as well as a critical step in raising awareness. There is hope. And as I move forward, facing the challenges of raising two children without their father and helping them understand and overcome their own challenges, I will continue to heal through the power of awareness and the support of those who know that suicide is the result of illness that demands the same attention as any other illness." https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/58d849e515d5db30258a7c01/1490569714519/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/559acd65e4b00d130d612326/1436208504179/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5a8abfedec212d1cb4d30245/1519042553362/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/59b1e60c0abd0445de54ba7c/1504831009284/StanleySessions_KNeff_WSaleski_2017.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/55db6052e4b0e9d828ff45d0/1440440410784/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/560ab5e1e4b03ffa07653b6c/1443542504150/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5a087909085229359d7a216b/1510504730772/ErinS_Sessions_WSaleski_2017.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/559acc93e4b0dd6032218472/1436208287588/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5890d61120099e5e9e857aa2/1485887003932/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/596b99a5b8a79b10f85a5e06/1500223918586/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/561be4d4e4b080d66b0f1ce5/1444668654162/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/597e905020099e0ef5a6339b/1501466712812/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5a2d659e0d9297714f8f9791/1512924598104/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5d138239e71c5f00010d455e/1561559636078/AndrewFINAL_WSaleski_2019.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/559ae200e4b0ee9660c5918d/1436213769050/ The Portraits   "Our friend, Alisha M. Priest, was full of life. She was creative, loved people, and they loved her. She was strong but didn’t know it. She was an encourager but found it difficult to encourage herself. She was a giver. Alisha was a great mother to her son, Timothy Priest II, and was a wonderful wife, sister, and friend. She was also a loving daughter. Alisha loved HARD! She loved God, His word, and His people. Alisha was wise beyond her years. She was a gifted hairstylist, and even overcame her battle with weight and became a body builder. She was truly beautiful on the inside and the outside. But because of some childhood issues that she battled throughout her life, Alisha was plagued with depression. This constant struggle contributed to her suicide on Father’s Day, 2006. If only she could have seen herself the way we saw and LOVED her, we know that she would still be with us today." https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/582e081159cc686809159dfa/1479411741534/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5991dafdf9a61e2db9c20f93/1502731022267/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/559acbc4e4b07172a310c55a/1436208100030/ The Portraits   "I have struggled with clinical depression and anxiety since puberty. I had contemplated suicide many times during numerous low points throughout my teens and early twenties, and sometimes found myself turning to cutting as a method of release. Despite these difficulties, it was not until April 21, 2013, that I reached the point of actually attempting suicide. At the time, I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. I lived in fear of my friends and family finding out, and as a result, I isolated myself from any and all help. I lived in shame and secrecy, careful to never speak to him too much about my struggle with depression since he believed that I did not 'try hard enough' to overcome it, and that I 'used it as an excuse' to behave in a way he didn't approve of. After a particularly bad night, I woke up the next morning with my arms and neck covered in yellow bruises. I believed that I would never amount to anything, that I was toxic, and that I would never be happy again. I took an entire bottle of Xanax in desperation, hoping that I simply wouldn't wake up again. As I watched white lights flash behind my eyes and felt myself slipping into unconsciousness, I thought, what have I done? I spent the following week in the mental health unit at the hospital. There, I spoke with a caring team of social workers and doctors. I met others who understood what depression feels like. Sometimes, I still wonder how they are doing. I still faced a long, uphill battle, but when I left the hospital, I felt for the first time that I was moving in the right direction. I was getting the help that I needed, and learning to not be afraid to reach out for support from loved ones. It would be another year and a half before I had the courage to end the abusive relationship, but the day finally came when I said, 'enough.' Depression and anxiety are ongoing struggles, but each day I grow stronger. I surround myself with positive and loving people. I embrace challenges at work, and seek out opportunities to try new things. For the first time in what feels like years, I am unapologetically myself. I've chosen to share my story today in hopes that someone who may be suffering will read these words and know that there is hope. Despite the widespread stigma surrounding mental illness, you can find those who understand your everyday battle and are willing to help. Never let anyone convince you that you are not worthy of love and respect. Above all, you are valuable, loved, and can always get back up no matter how far you've fallen." https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57ec1646e6f2e1db285d72ff/1475090000885/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57cee4dabe659421cb8589d9/1473176806256/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/56fd6879c2ea51faf1a9da7c/1459447941647/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/55f97ac1e4b0c43b7a3b6725/1442413254345/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/559ace2be4b0c805c28b9a9a/1436208690261/ The Portraits   "As I was sitting in my freshman English class, I began having flashbacks. These flashes of memories scared me so much that I ran out of the classroom. How could I have memories of someone posing me in sexual positions? How could I remember someone assaulting me? I know that person—why is he hurting me? Many memories came back to me that made me realize that I felt so unclean. How could I let him do these things to me? I began struggling to process through what was done to me. Why would he hurt me like that? I struggled in silence while more memories continued to flood my brain. I was horrified. I just could not take the pain any longer. I did not know what else to do, and I made the decision that I could not continue to live with the pain I was having. There was nothing for me. I was no good for anyone. I just could not clear my brain to think of anything except the sexual assaults that I had endured. How is a fifteen-year-old supposed to process such information? I was thrown into a major depression and could not see a light to guide myself out. One night, I was home alone and decided I could no longer take this—the memories and struggles I was dealing with had become too great for me to bear. I collected what pills I could find in my home and took them. I was not yet getting tired, so I did not think the pills I ingested were enough to do the job. I then took a knife out and was contemplating cutting myself as I rubbed the knife along my left wrist. All of the sudden, the phone rang. On the other end of the phone was my new lifeline, my friend Kristi. I could not hold back any longer. I told her everything: the abuse, the suicidal thoughts, and my actions that night. Kristi listened to every word and reassured me that there was purpose for me and that she loved me. I promised Kristi that I would not hurt myself that night and that I would see her at school the next day. The next day after school, I found myself in Kristi’s English classroom with Kristi and her teacher, Mrs. Schroeder, who was also an angel to me. Mrs. Schroeder was soft-spoken, wanted to hear what I had to say, and was so understanding. She cried with me as I told her the memories that I had and how they were affecting me. She made plans for Kristi and me to come to her house for dinner. While there, I met her step-daughter, Carrie. What a blessing that evening was! Carrie was not only her step-daughter but was a rape survivor and wanted to sit and talk with me. She listened and held me as I cried—a total stranger who wanted to help a fifteen-year-old with the hardest experience of her life so far. Kristi was right by my side every step of the way. I thank God regularly that she not only called me right at the right moment, but stayed with me and cared about me so much that she reached out for help when I could not. Mrs. Schroeder also gave so much to me. She gave me acceptance and did not place any shame on me; she helped me realize I was a victim and that I did not ask for the sexual abuse. Mrs. Schroeder set up an appointment and drove me to United Way after school for multiple therapy sessions. I began to struggle more after my first visit to United Way. I was given multiple pieces of literature regarding being a survivor of sexual abuse and at first, I had a negative response to the information. I began to contemplate suicide again. I did not see ever getting past my intense hatred for myself. One memory that I had was asking my abuser if we were going to get married, since only married people do what we did. It did not matter at this moment to me that I was only in second and third grade when the abuse occurred. I was so disgusted by my words. How could I ever think like that? I had to be sick in the mind to ever have thought to ask that question. I struggled for so long and wanted only to be pain-free again. Why these memories had to come back to me was a major question for me. I asked Mrs. Schroeder and my therapist and neither one could answer me. But as I became stronger, I knew that I was going to use my experience to help others. I have talked about my suicide attempt and the sexual assault to many people on more of a one-on-one basis. This is my first time talking about this on such a huge level. I am thankful for the platform that Stanley Sessions have given to survivors to talk openly about their experiences. I want people to understand that there is no one period of time or one mistake that defines your life. Bad things happen, and we make bad choices, but the best part is that we learn from them and become stronger. If you are struggling with a situation in your life, I plead for you to ask for help. I didn’t do that, and I almost lost my life. I thank God for my dear friend who could ask for me. It’s not too late…make a phone call and reach out! Thirty years later, I am a wife of almost 25 years; a mother to a son who is 23 and quickly becoming the man I always dreamed he would be; and I am employed with NAMI of Montgomery County, Ohio, where every day, I am able to provide some help to people living with mental illness. I am blessed and I am so thankful that I have not missed the last thirty years. Thank you, Kristi Moredock Maxwell and Cindy (Schroeder) Cooke, for saving my life." https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/58e2c871e4fcb5ff91d11295/1491257475393/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57a8c118ebbd1a5a511ca58b/1470677285167/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/55a42983e4b06eaade7b39e4/1436821894119/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5a9c24cf41920278296f1e80/1520182493127/StaceyTaylor2_WSaleski_2018.jpg The Portraits Tyler Groves (left) and Stacey Fortney (right) https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/577c1a1b29687fb60161fc62/1467750953058/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5977ef4cf7e0ab751a20df0f/1501032279475/ The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5741f609e321400346108b19/1463940688087/Brett_FINAL_2_WS_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/576969b4ff7c50372b1a4e85/1466526144309/Erin_FINAL_WSaleski_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/577c1a5ff5e231497871744f/1467751011656/Kristan1_FINAL_WSaleski_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57a8c0ce197aea52731fb11c/1470677203464/ShelleyG1_WSaleski_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57b9cd8a9f7456e36f2c6748/1471794589198/AmandaS_FINAL_WSaleski_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57cee46d725e2508058f5edb/1473176761711/DelaneyFINAL_WSaleski_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/57ec1601725e258377ac30da/1475089926478/BeckyFINAL_WSaleski_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5828a85eb8a79bc71b2c8e91/1479059555185/Aimee3_WSaleski_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/588934c259cc68b959ee74af/1485386957646/Courtney1_WSaleski_2016.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/5890d5cfc534a5bae7136fdb/1485886962677/TeresaFINAL_WSaleski_2017.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/58d84923d2b857f33fbccef0/1490570707088/Keaton1_WSaleski_2017.jpg The Portraits https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/58e2c7da3a0411db1e417bd6/1491257338426/MikeSessions_WSaleski_2017.jpg The Portraits 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Behind-the-Scenes - Photo credit: Marysa Marderosian http://stanleysessions.com/mission daily 0.75 2015-07-16 https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/559eb041e4b02be811be1119/1436463172658/ Mission http://stanleysessions.com/press daily 0.75 2018-02-17 https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/55a40d96e4b0f89d9d51da6a/1436814744996/ Press http://stanleysessions.com/about daily 0.75 2017-11-02 https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/56e7047422482e8e257c04c8/1457980594900/Whitney+photo+1 About Whitney Saleski (left) and her mother, Lisa Saleski (right), pose for their session. (Photo courtesy of Missy Mikulecky of the San Francisco Giants) http://stanleysessions.com/read-me daily 0.75 2017-03-16 https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5592c82ce4b01daf5c180655/t/56e702d137013b987cb6d357/1457980133060/ Support http://stanleysessions.com/instagram daily 0.75 2017-03-01