"I've struggled with mental illness my whole life. When I first attempted suicide in high school, my parents didn't know. But that isn't part of my story. The story is that I started my first real relationship in college in 2014 with a boy, which was shocking, as I identify as a queer woman.
I was swept up in it, and I neglected my friends. He was the sun in my life. He was sexually abusive and I didn't realize for a long time that I was being abused, but my mental health slowly started to deteriorate.
I began cutting, and I was paranoid and angry. I snapped at everyone and cried all the time. Eventually, I broke up with him with the promise that we would remain friends, but he always violated that boundary by touching me in inappropriate ways.
One night, he sexually assaulted me again, and it was the first time I realized that something was truly wrong.
I told a friend and my friend told someone important and everyone else kept calling it sexual assault. I didn't believe it. I kept telling people that 'they' say I've been sexually assaulted... like it wasn't real.
Shortly after that, I tried to kill myself.
It really was a cry for help. I had been telling people for years that this was serious, and no one seemed to believe me and I started to feel hopeless. No one appeared to be listening.
Now, I'm happy to be alive. This wasn't the last time I was hospitalized, but this was the story that changed everything for me. I couldn't live the way I used to anymore by isolating myself and taking care of everyone but me.
It's been a struggle ever since then, as I'm still trying to find myself and trying not to be afraid of love. I'm trying to find my purpose in life.
My advice for anyone struggling is to find what you love... find what you love and who you love and never let them go.
You are so worth it and pure and precious. Even though I do not know you, know that I love you."